Ashtabula County
Friends For
Life
E-Mail: Ashtabula County Friends For Life
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text if you need to copy it to your clipboard:
E-mail: ashcofriendsforlife @yahoo.com
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Ashtabula County
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She’s
probably feeling confused
about her pregnancy. Maybe someone is
pressuring
her
to abort. To her,
this may seem like the only “choice”
she has. Whether she’s your friend,
sister, co-worker or “the friend of a
friend of a friend,” it’s up to you
to show her a better solution to her
problem. You may be the only person that
will step into her world to show her
love and truth.
The first step you should take is to pray. Pray hard. Pray that God will give you the words to say to this woman or girl that will speak to her heart. Pray also that God will prepare her heart to hear your words of truth and concern.
“For He will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help. He will take pity on the weak and the needy and save the needy from death. He will rescue them from oppression and violence, for precious is their blood in His sight.” Psalm 72:12-14
Second,
listen to her. Find out what
her fears are about this pregnancy.
Sometimes the reasons a woman will give
for wanting the abortion are only a
smokescreen for the real issues she is
dealing with. Is she really ashamed that
she “got caught” in a sinful
relationship? Is she being pressured by
someone to abort? Is she aborting out of
anger toward someone? Is she aborting to
save a relationship, even though few
relationships are strong enough to
survive the strain of taking a child’s
life?
Also listen for the maternal bonding
that is already taking place between
mother and baby. Is she broken up about
having to abort? If she is, she probably
really doesn’t want to do it and is
just waiting for someone to “side”
with her and show support. Is her reason
out of concern for her baby such as not
wanting the baby growing up in poverty,
or without a father?
Find out if she has confirmed her pregnancy. If not, encourage her to seek a free pregnancy test at a local crisis pregnancy center. If she already has that confirmation, try to persuade her (and the baby’s father) to visit the crisis pregnancy center for counseling and options. See if she needs transportation and help her make an appointment.
If she has already made the abortion appointment, try to discourage her from keeping it. Assure her that she has time, that she shouldn’t rush into such an important and complex decision, even though the abortion clinic will try to rush her into it.
“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…” James 1:19
Third, inform her of the facts of pregnancy, fetal development and abortion. Make sure you do this quickly, within a day or two of learning about her intentions to abort. Most aborting women will make the appointment quickly to get it over with. Time is not on your side here. Try to have information already put together for times such as this.
Teach her how the baby
develops in the womb. Yet concentrate not
only on the baby, but even more important to
the expectant mother, the effects abortion
will have on her own health and
emotional stability. Enlighten her on
abortion techniques and the many risks
associated with abortion, such as
infection, hemorrhage, the devastating
effects on future babies, sterility, even
death, an increased risk of developing breast
cancer, and a host of psychological problems
called Post-Abortion Syndrome (PAS).
Offer her alternatives to abortion such as adoption. But understand that to many women facing unintended pregnancies, it’s not so much the child that she doesn’t want, it’s the pregnancy. For this reason adoption is not always a desirable option to her. Still, encourage her to stick the pregnancy out for the time that remains and then she can make a decision whether to keep the baby or not after the child is born.
If She’s a
Minor
If she’s under 18, encourage her to first speak with her parents about her situation. If she’s scared, offer to stand by her as she breaks the news to them, or suggest she inform them in a letter to help avoid the brunt of their initial response. Most parents will be shocked, heartbroken or even angry, but many will soften and want to help their daughter with her situation. Of course, some parents’ idea of helping is to force the daughter to abort. Be aware of the parent’s solution and be prepared to educate them as well. Reassure her that by Ohio’s law, her parents can’t force her to abort if she doesn’t want to.
“The tongue has the power of life and death…” Proverbs 18:21
Fourth, continue to pray. If you have been unsuccessful in reaching her heart, God most certainly can. Continue to befriend and love her, continue to have communication with her, continue to show your support of her pregnancy and offer your help in anything she may need. Tell her you believe in her and that she’s strong enough to make the right choice.
Remind her of other areas in her life where she has made tough decisions and have been better for making them.
Fifth, if after all your prayers and efforts, she is determined to and does indeed go through with her abortion, continue to love her. You may hate her decision but don’t hate her for it. She may need you the most now as she comes to grips with what she did. Offer her the resources that she will need after the abortion to obtain legal, medical, emotional and spiritual help. Without this type of healing, an abortive woman is likely to abort again later. So even if you weren’t able to save this baby, perhaps you can play a part in preparing her heart for the next time she finds herself in an unexpected pregnancy, or to prevent her from getting unintentionally pregnant again.
Of course, hopefully your prayers and kind words of truth and encouragement will pay off and months or weeks down the line you can witness the miracle of her precious newborn baby. Congratulate her and help her to make the decisions that will now confront her - to either keep the baby or give him up for adoption.
Offer
to help her with baby clothes
or furniture, diapers, baby formula, or
babysitting if you are able to do so. If
finances are an issue for her, encourage
her to seek governmental help with
health care expenses through programs
such as
W.I.C.
(Women, Infants and
Children) and Healthy Start in Ohio,
which are available both during the
pregnancy and after giving birth if she
qualifies. Call your county’s Health
and Human Services Department for more
information. Encourage her to sign up
for infant care classes that most
hospitals and crisis pregnancy centers
teach. Offer to supply her with meals
for a short time after she comes home
from the hospital if she has no one to
help her. Round up women from your
church to help her in this capacity as
well. Learn what other needs she has at
this time and try to help.
And most importantly, thank God for
his answers to prayer and give Him all
the glory!
