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You’ve
had an abortion. Now you
may be hurting. Somewhere deep down
inside your being you are aching, or
perhaps your abortion has left you
emotionally distraught. Whatever pain
you are experiencing, you are not alone.
Millions of women are suffering as you
are. This post abortion pain is referred
to as Post-Abortion Syndrome (PAS), and
it is treatable, there is hop
PAS shows up in a number of
ways:
“Among
the most common symptoms
experienced by women who seek counseling
[for post-abortion trauma] are; low
self-esteem, anger, guilt, anxiety,
depression, sleep disorders, extreme
mood swings, a need to compensate for
the loss of their child, drug and
alcohol abuse, promiscuity, frigidity,
numbness of feelings, hatred of self or
of men, withdrawal, inability to sustain
intimate relationships, unexpected
emotional outbursts, suicide attempts
[especially of the date her baby was due
to be born]. Physical symptoms include
nervous itching or hives, headaches,
backaches, stomach or abdominal
disorders. The
crisis point occurs most
often between 2-5 years after the
abortion. For some women, the crisis may
come within months of the abortion—for
others repression may last 20-30 years or
more…”
-Terry Selby, ACSW, Clinical
Director, Counseling Associates of
Bemidji, Inc.
Don’t Allow Anyone To Trivialize or Dismiss Your Grief
Your grief is a healthy sign that you
are facing realities rather than burying
them where they fester. Tears are
cathartic. The first step to being
healed of emotional wounds is to admit
that the wounds exist and to acknowledge
the cause of those wounds.
You have a right to grieve. You have
lost a child. Many women are surprised
to find themselves grieving an aborted
child because the abortion was—more or
less—a voluntary act. But this added
dimension of guilt actually intensifies
the grief. Society tells aborted women
that they have no right to grieve, after
all you were  the
one who made the
decision, a “choice” that is
perfectly legal. This frequently leaves
women to feel foolish or selfish about
their grief. Yet your grief is normal.
When a pregnancy occurs, all the
hormonal changes designed to change a
woman into a mother begin. The body
machinery gears up to produce a child;
the maternal mindset begins to
establish. Any thwarting of this natural
process (such as abortion) upsets the
body ecology and scars the psyche of the
would-be mother. To FAIL to experience a
sense of loss, of emptiness, of grief is
ABNORMAL.
Don’t Be Too Hard On Yourself
One doctor has stated that
ambivalence in early pregnancy is so
universal as to be a symptom of
pregnancy. You were called upon to make
an important life decision at a time
when your decision-making abilities were
hampered by the hormonal changes going
on in your body.
Perhaps others around you were
pressuring you to abort, or you felt you
needed to keep the pregnancy a secret
from parents, your church, school
officials, or your boyfriend or husband
and abortion was the only way to hide
the fact you were sexually active.
Perhaps you just felt that the baby
would not fit into your “plans” and
abortion was a “quick fix” offered
by well-meaning friends or advisors.
The “counselors” at the family
planning or abortion facility probably
didn’t give you adequate or accurate
information about your baby’s
development, abortion methods and risks—both
physical and emotional—so that you
could make an informed and intelligent
decision. Abortion providers are known
to wish facts and words to keep women
from choosing to let their babies live
and thus lose their profits off of your
abortion. They told you your baby was
“a clump of cells” or referred to
her as “the product of conception.”
They never showed you the ultrasound of
her jumping and doing somersaults inside
your womb. They never offered you any
other “choice,” one that would have
felt right to you.
Forgive Yourself and Others
It is natural to feel angry and
resentful toward yourself and others who
had a part in your abortion decision.
Many women even feel outraged the moment
anyone even mentions the words abortion,
pro-life, unborn child, etc. But you
cannot heal emotionally while allowing
these destructive feelings to exist.
Realize that these others
participating in your decision to abort
may be just as unsuspecting as yourself.
Maybe they didn’t know the facts and
the 
emotional trauma you will face when
they recommended or forced you to abort.
Maybe they did know, but selfishly gave
your bad advice. Either way, you must
forgive them. You must also forgive
yourself. This will only be possible
through divine intervention.
Look to God For Forgiveness and
Healing
Many women say they feel unworthy of
God’s forgiveness, instead they feel
God is judging them. But Jesus came into
this world to die a sacrificial death
for everyone, no matter how bad the sin
is. In God’s eyes, sin is sin, none is
worse than another. And Christ died for
each one of us, “for all have sinned.”
(Romans 3:23) Abortion is sin, and must
be confessed to God. But  do
not fear because “He is faithful and just to
forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us
from all unrighteousness.” (John 1:9)
God is not angry. He is hurting with
you. He loves you and feels your pain.
He knows what it feels like to give His
Son over to death. You are the reason
that Jesus gave His life, that He
suffered and died. Jesus demonstrates in
a parable how He, like a shepherd, will
leave the ninety-nine to seek out the
one that is lost. He is waiting for you
with open arms. God is able to forgive a
multitude of sins. Don’t let our
enemy, Satan, deceive you into thinking
that you don’t deserve God’s love or
forgiveness. God is love. God created
you to love you and make you His child.
That’s His desire.
Pray to your merciful Father in
Heaven this prayer, or one similar:
Dear Father in Heaven, I come to You
now, confessing my sins. Lord, seeking
my own way and living by my own rules
has resulted in death and torment for my
child and myself. Forgive me. I thank You that you were willing for
Your Son to die to redeem me. I accept His great
sacrifice in my behalf. Father, I lay at
Your feet all my feelings of guilt,
grief, remorse and regret. Cleanse me
and heal me by the blood of Your dear
Son, Jesus. Today is the first day of my
new life, a life I commit to You. Teach
me to live according to Your will. In
Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Find a friend, organization or church that will further help you recover and
grow spiritually closer to your Savior. Look under “Abortion Alternative” in
the Yellow Pages or on Resources
and Links
for pro-life groups and
post-abortion counselors who will love
you and guide you through your continued
journey of healing.
“...if any man be in Christ, he is
a new creature: old things are passed
away; behold, all things are new.”
(2 Corinthians
5:17)
See these pages also:
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