She’s probably feeling confused about her pregnancy. Maybe someone is pressuring her to abort.  To her, this may seem like the only “choice” she has. Whether she’s your friend, sister, co-worker or “the friend of a friend of a friend,” it’s up to you to show her a better solution to her problem. You may be the only person that will step into her world to show her love and truth.

“Rescue those being led away to death; hold back those staggering toward slaughter.”

Proverbs 24: 11

The first step you should take is to pray. Pray hard. Pray that God will give you the words to say to this woman or girl that will speak to her heart. Pray also that God will prepare her heart to hear your words of truth and concern.

Second, listen to her. Find out what her fears are about this pregnancy. Sometimes the reasons a woman will give for wanting the abortion are only a smokescreen for the real issues she is dealing with. Is she really ashamed that she “got caught” in a sinful relationship? Is she being pressured by someone to abort? Is she aborting out of anger toward someone? Is she aborting to save a relationship, even though few relationships are strong enough to survive the strain of taking a child’s life?
Also listen for the maternal bonding that is already taking place between mother and baby. Is she broken up about having to abort? If she is, she probably really doesn’t want to do it and is just waiting for someone to “side” with her and show support. Is her reason out of concern for her baby such as not wanting the baby growing up in poverty, or without a father?

Find out if she has confirmed her pregnancy. If not, encourage her to seek a free pregnancy test at a local crisis pregnancy center. If she already has that confirmation, try to persuade her (and the baby’s father) to visit the crisis pregnancy center for counseling and options. See if she needs transportation and help her make an appointment.

If she has already made the abortion appointment, try to discourage her from keeping it. Assure her that she has time, that she shouldn’t rush into such an important and complex decision, even though the abortion clinic will try to rush her into it.

Third, inform her of the facts of pregnancy, fetal development and abortion. Make sure you do this quickly, within a day or two of learning about her intentions to abort. Most aborting women will make the appointment quickly to get it over with. Time is not on your side here. Try to have information already put together for times such as this.

Teach her how the baby develops in the womb. Yet concentrate not only on the baby, but even more important to the expectant mother, the effects abortion will have on her own health and emotional stability. Enlighten her on abortion techniques and the many risks associated with abortion, such as infection, hemorrhage, the devastating effects on future babies, sterility, even death, an increased risk of developing breast cancer, and a host of psychological problems called Post-Abortion Syndrome (PAS).

Offer her alternatives to abortion such as adoption. But understand that to many women facing unintended pregnancies, it’s not so much the child that she doesn’t want, it’s the pregnancy. For this reason adoption is not always a desirable option to her. Still, encourage her to stick the pregnancy out for the time that remains and then she can make a decision whether to keep the baby or not after the child is born.

If She’s a Minor     

If she’s under 18, encourage her to first speak with her parents about her situation. If she’s scared, offer to stand by her as she breaks the news to them, or suggest she inform them in a letter to help avoid the brunt of their initial response. Most parents will be shocked, heartbroken or even angry, but many will soften and want to help their daughter with her situation. Of course, some parents’ idea of helping is to force the daughter to abort. Be aware of the parent’s solution and be prepared to educate them as well. Reassure her that by Ohio’s law, her parents can’t force her to abort if she doesn’t want to.

Fourth, continue to pray. If you have been unsuccessful in reaching her heart, God most certainly can. Continue to befriend and love her, continue to have communication with her, continue to show your support of her pregnancy and offer your help in anything she may need. Tell her you believe in her and that she’s strong enough to make the right choice.

Remind her of other areas in her life where she has made tough decisions and have been better for making them.

#5 LOVE

Fifth, if after all your prayers and efforts, she is determined to and does indeed go through with her abortion, continue to love her. You may hate her decision but don’t hate her for it. She may need you the most now as she comes to grips with what she did. Offer her the resources that she will need after the abortion to obtain legal, medical, emotional and spiritual help. Without this type of healing, an abortive woman is likely to abort again later. So even if you weren’t able to save this baby, perhaps you can play a part in preparing her heart for the next time she finds herself in an unexpected pregnancy, or to prevent her from getting unintentionally pregnant again.

Of course, hopefully your prayers and kind words of truth and encouragement will pay off and months or weeks down the line you can witness the miracle of her precious newborn baby. Congratulate her and help her to make the decisions that will now confront her - to either keep the baby or give him up for adoption.

Offer to help her with baby clothes or furniture, diapers, baby formula, or babysitting if you are able to do so. If finances are an issue for her, encourage her to seek governmental help with health care expenses through programs such as W.I.C. (Women, Infants and Children) and Healthy Start in Ohio, which are available both during the pregnancy and after giving birth if she qualifies. Call your county’s Health and Human Services Department for more information. Encourage her to sign up for infant care classes that most hospitals and crisis pregnancy centers teach. Offer to supply her with meals for a short time after she comes home from the hospital if she has no one to help her. Round up women from your church to help her in this capacity as well. Learn what other needs she has at this time and try to help.
And most importantly, thank God for his answers to prayer and give Him all the glory!

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